Struggling With Depression & Suicide
from Tears of Solitude by Afraid of Destiny
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lyrics
Days of endless struggle.
More hopeful pills today.
Trying to appear “normal”
in some sort of way.
It seems that the struggle
is always here with me.
And I wouldn’t be here now
if guilt would leave me be.
I know there’s been many
who’ve had worse than I,
but that doesn’t always mean
that I wouldn’t say “good-bye”.
People say I have a lot going for me.
I’m sorry, but I just can’t see.
I can’t see because my worst enemy
it’s not my life, but inside of me.
Always on a roller coaster,
not much consistency
I’m nothing if I’m not up or down.
I’m nothing if just “me”.
Very little energy.
Wanting to stay in bed,
wishing to be enthusiastic
instead of feeling like I’m made of lead.
Wanting to be excited.
Wanting to care for more,
but when nothing makes sense,
it’s hard to focus on the poor.
Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking.
It’s hard to keep in touch
with what is happening around me
and not to worry too much.
I feel that everybody is better than me
and I can’t do anything right.
This is how I've felt my whole dang life.
It didn’t just start last night.
No confidence, no self-esteem.
Everybody else is right.
To speakl my mind is to be a fool
so I just try to “sit-tight”.
Any one of these problems
would be a very vice.
But when you have them all,
living seems like a roll of a dice.
More hopeful pills today.
Trying to appear “normal”
in some sort of way.
It seems that the struggle
is always here with me.
And I wouldn’t be here now
if guilt would leave me be.
I know there’s been many
who’ve had worse than I,
but that doesn’t always mean
that I wouldn’t say “good-bye”.
People say I have a lot going for me.
I’m sorry, but I just can’t see.
I can’t see because my worst enemy
it’s not my life, but inside of me.
Always on a roller coaster,
not much consistency
I’m nothing if I’m not up or down.
I’m nothing if just “me”.
Very little energy.
Wanting to stay in bed,
wishing to be enthusiastic
instead of feeling like I’m made of lead.
Wanting to be excited.
Wanting to care for more,
but when nothing makes sense,
it’s hard to focus on the poor.
Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking.
It’s hard to keep in touch
with what is happening around me
and not to worry too much.
I feel that everybody is better than me
and I can’t do anything right.
This is how I've felt my whole dang life.
It didn’t just start last night.
No confidence, no self-esteem.
Everybody else is right.
To speakl my mind is to be a fool
so I just try to “sit-tight”.
Any one of these problems
would be a very vice.
But when you have them all,
living seems like a roll of a dice.
credits
from Tears of Solitude,
released December 1, 2013
license
all rights reserved
tags
about
Afraid of Destiny Treviso, Italy
Atmospheric/Depressive Black Metal from Italy
discography
-
Mar 2023 -
Feb 2019 -
Apr 2017 -
Sep 2019 -
Dec 2013 -
Oct 2017 -
Jan 2020 -
May 2015 -
Jun 2014 -
Jan 2013 -
Apr 2014 -
Jan 2017
contact / help
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